“If I suppress my needs, if I don’t upset anyone or cause discomfort, if I shrink myself to be easy to love, then I will maintain the “connection” I have with those I need it from most.”
Really resonating with this. Last month, at an event for work, we were asked to write down a personal ‘big dream’ and after much internal deliberation, I wrote down ‘find authenticity’. I think I meant was ‘find the courage to be authentic’ but I was nervous 😅 In work and social situations, I find myself all-consumed with trying add value to the meeting/conversation, trying to be helpful, making sure I smile (so much that my face literally starts twitching), all just to ensure that people like me, that I barely recognise myself. It’s been interesting to observe that impulse and try and course-correct with behaviours that would feel more ‘me’. I guess it’s an ongoing process, some days are better than others, but dang if your words don’t capture it beautifully.
Thank you for sharing that 🙂 it really, truly does take courage, doesn’t it? Because some people may not like you, and you them, but that’s okay! Or you may not always add value, as you’re saying, in a tangibly productive way.
I have discovered, though, that being honest and authentic always adds value in surprising ways. Sometimes it gives other people permission to be vulnerable, or it even gives them the chance to care for you. And those brave steps we take tend to bring us closer when we do it together 🙂
“If I suppress my needs, if I don’t upset anyone or cause discomfort, if I shrink myself to be easy to love, then I will maintain the “connection” I have with those I need it from most.”
Really resonating with this. Last month, at an event for work, we were asked to write down a personal ‘big dream’ and after much internal deliberation, I wrote down ‘find authenticity’. I think I meant was ‘find the courage to be authentic’ but I was nervous 😅 In work and social situations, I find myself all-consumed with trying add value to the meeting/conversation, trying to be helpful, making sure I smile (so much that my face literally starts twitching), all just to ensure that people like me, that I barely recognise myself. It’s been interesting to observe that impulse and try and course-correct with behaviours that would feel more ‘me’. I guess it’s an ongoing process, some days are better than others, but dang if your words don’t capture it beautifully.
Thank you for sharing that 🙂 it really, truly does take courage, doesn’t it? Because some people may not like you, and you them, but that’s okay! Or you may not always add value, as you’re saying, in a tangibly productive way.
I have discovered, though, that being honest and authentic always adds value in surprising ways. Sometimes it gives other people permission to be vulnerable, or it even gives them the chance to care for you. And those brave steps we take tend to bring us closer when we do it together 🙂